Written by a student while in North Africa

As we headed into the desert, we were encouraged to use this time to reflect on what the Father has been teaching us through the semester and to write a word/phrase in the sand. This phrase came to mind almost immediately - “I surrender control”. Even before I arrived in North Africa, as I was sending out letters and figuring out what support raising looked like, I had to surrender control. On the night before my flight, I was packing and realized my passport was missing, I had to open my helpless hands. Especially here, in deepening my relationship with Muslim friends, I’ve had to give it all over to the Father.

I’ll be honest. I question Him more than I would like to admit. “Why Father? Why did I grow up where the good news of Jesus Christ was so accessible? Why have you opened my eyes to your truth but these people are still in total darkness? I don’t understand.” Their religion is so twisted, and they are totally bought into it. “In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:4)

“Why Father?” And He answered.

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements, surely you know!

Who shut in the sea with doors and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors?

Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know it’s place?

Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?

Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or have you see the storehouses of the hail?

Has the rain a father or who has begotten the drops of dew?

Do you know the ordinances of the heavens? Can you establish their rule in the earth?

Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you ‘here we are’?

Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up and makes his nest on high?

Will you even put me in the wrong? Will you condemn me that you may be in the right?

(Job 38-42)

I run to the Father again and again and again and again, and through His Word, He reminds me again and again of who He is. Yes, I love these people and with every beat of my heart I long for the veil to be lifted from their eyes, but HE is in control, not me. HE laid the foundations of the earth, not I. I’m just called to be obedient and He does the rest. The pressure is off. I’m handing it over to the One over all creation.