At that moment, I felt alone in my fear. I don't even know how I would have voiced what I was feeling to my group, but that wasn't the issue. It was the fear of moving forward. Without anyone else knowing this internal mess inside me, it was then how much I felt seen by the Father. He was the one to move my feet another step.

Now I had adequate experience with riding a bike back home, so I wasn’t too worried about biking every day to where we would need to go, so I began to champion the idea of disgust in my mind with one of pride and underestimation of how horrible this bike was. I thought, “I can totally ride this heap of junk”. But as I began to get on it, I quickly learned Excalibur would be the most significant tool in my experience of humility.

As we headed into the desert, we were encouraged to use this time to reflect on what the Father has been teaching us through the semester and to write a word/phrase in the sand. This phrase came to mind almost immediately - “I surrender control”.